one two three fourrrrnication!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
