i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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