Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
