its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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