I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
