it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
