who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
