You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize