you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
