We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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