Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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