Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
