Did you just see the Batmobile???
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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