I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
