when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
