so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
