I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
