You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
