you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
