Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
