I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
