She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize