By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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