honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
