Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
