The maid of honor just puked.
Yo dont text me then not text me
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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