Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
