Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
