I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize