I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
