dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i think i just lost a toe
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize