Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
