Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
