pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
