This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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