I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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