So drunk its hurt
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
