Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize