Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
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the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
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I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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