It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i've created a new STD.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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