Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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