Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
