dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
