R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The beers last night were like the tears from god
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
