The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
