The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Is Oprah even human
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
