marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize