There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
