it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
