So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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