did you get engaged???
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
