drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
