can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
