Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
