Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
