I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The air taste purple.
Randomize