Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
