3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
