I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
