Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
