i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It's just like the Real World with babies
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
